Conflict is an unavoidable part of life. No one is perfect and we all hurt each other because of our brokenness (yes, even you). Often the things you do and say can make the conflict worse. Ignoring it doesn’t work in the long-term either. Here is what the Bible says about conflict resolution.
Listen carefully and don't get angry quickly You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:17 Use a gentle tone and kind words A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger. But an unkind answer will cause more anger. Proverbs 15:1 Live in peace Do the best you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 Put up with each other and forgive others Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Colossians 3:13 Don't bear grudges Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Ephesians 4:31 God wants us to forgive others like Christ forgave us. Christ has forgiven us a lot, so surely we can forgive someone who has hurt us. Please note, there are some things that will require professional help to work through such as abuse. A counsellor can be very helpful in working through big hurts. Is there someone you need to forgive? Is there someone you need to ask for forgiveness?
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Ephesians 5:18 says, Don’t get drunk with wine, because it makes you lose control. Instead, keep on being filled with the Spirit. This verse is talking about drunkenness, not just wine. Science backs this up. Here is a list of outcomes from being drunk:
Paul encourages us to be filled with the Spirit instead. I believe this happens by engaging in the Spiritual disciplines - prayer, reading the Bible, fellowship with other believers, worship, fasting, giving, serving, gratitude and confession. What we think, do and say comes from what we are filled with. If we are filled with popular culture, we will think, act and speak like everyone else around us. If we are filled by the Spirit, we will think, act and speak like people who love Jesus. When you are filled with alcohol, it affects your behaviour in a negative way. When you are filled with the Spirit, it affects your behaviour in a positive way. Ephesians 5:17 says, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. When I was a teenager and young adult I agonised over what God's will for my life was. What subjects did he want me to study at high school? Which university course did he want me to study? Who did he want me to date? Which job should I apply for and take? Which church did he want me to go to? You get the idea.
I eventually learned that it's really quite simple to know the will go God. When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment is in Mark 12:29-31 he said, 'you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength,' and 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' If you fulfil these two commandments, you are doing what God wants. It is my belief that there are any number of subjects, courses, jobs, partners and other optional extras that will be in God's will. The important thing is our that we are loving God and loving others. If you love God, you won't have any idols in your life or use his name as a swear word. If you love others you won't gossip, bully or exclude other people. Here are some more Bible truths about the will of God:
What areas of your life do you think are in God’s will? What areas do you think aren’t in his will? Ephesians 5:16 says, Make the most of your time, because the days are evil.
Time is like money. When you go to the shops, you don’t waste all your money on cheap things that won’t last. You want to buy good quality things that are going to last. Our time is like that. We only have a limited amount of it. What are you going to spend your time on? Things that make the most of your time:
Things that don't make the most of your time:
Why is how we use our time important? Paul said that the days are evil. Even though Jesus died and rose again so that we can spend eternity with him, the world is still full of sin and evil. We only have a finite time on this earth until we die or Jesus comes again. We should be so grateful for what Jesus did for us, that it motivates us to use our time living for and glorifying him. I went to a restaurant this week with beautiful views of the sunset. As I waited to be taken to my table, I overheard the waitress ask the guests behind me if they had a reservation. They did not and were disappointed that they were to be seated at the back of the restaurant, away from the stunning views.
As I reflected on this, I realised that eternity is a bit like that. You can't just wing it, and rock up at the end of your life (whenever that is) and expect to get the best seat in the house. You need to make a reservation. In Philippians 4:3, Paul talks about some of the people who had helped him spread the Good News about Jesus and said, Their names are written in the book of life. The book of life is like eternity's reservation book. So, how do you make a reservation to spend eternity with Jesus? 1 John 1:9 says, But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins. We can trust God. He does what is right. He will make us clean from all the wrongs we have done. Nothing we can do on our own can get us there, only what Jesus did on the cross. Do you have a reservation? Ephesians 5:15 says, So be very careful how you live. Do not live like those who are not wise. Live wisely. People who are unwise live for themselves and for the moment - they don't think about eternity. When you are surrounded by people like this, it's hard not to live like them.
I climbed up a very steep hill today and had to be very careful that I didn't fall off. The Christian life is like that - you have to be careful in case you fall away from your faith. The New Testament contains many warnings about being careful. Here are some of them: Be careful of false prophets - Matthew7:15 Be careful of false prophets. They come to you and look gentle like sheep. But they are really dangerous like wolves. False prophets are people who claim to speak the word of God, but it's not. You can test what they're saying against the Bible to see if it's true. Be careful because you don't know when Jesus will come again - Mark 13:32-33 No one knows when that day or time will be. The Son and the angels in heaven don’t know. Only the Father knows. Be careful! Always be ready! Be careful not to be greedy - Luke 12:15 Then Jesus said to them, “Be careful and guard against all kinds of greed. A man’s life is not measured by the many things he owns.” Be careful not to cause weaker Christians to sin - 1 Corinthians 1:9 But be careful with your freedom. Your freedom may cause those who are weak in faith to fall into sin. Be careful not to be pulled away from the truth - Hebrews 2:1 So we must be more careful to follow what we were taught. Then we will not be pulled away from the truth. Be careful not to commit sexual sin - Hebrews 12:16 Be careful that no one takes part in sexual sin. Be careful to listen when God speaks - Hebrews 12:25 So be careful and do not refuse to listen when God speaks. Be careful of the devil - 1 Peter 5:8 Control yourselves and be careful! The devil is your enemy. And he goes around like a roaring lion looking for someone to eat. Be careful not to be led astray by non-Christians - 2 Peter 3:17 So be careful. Do not let those evil people lead you away by the wrong they do. Be careful so that you will not fall from your own strong faith. Which of these warnings resonates with you? What do you need to be careful of? Ephesians 5:10 says, Find out what pleases the Lord. How do we know what pleases God? Colossians 1:9-12 gives us some clues.
We ask God that you will know fully what God wants. We pray that you will also have great wisdom and understanding in spiritual things. Then you will live the kind of life that honors and pleases the Lord in every way. You will produce fruit in every good work and grow in the knowledge of God. Then God will strengthen you with his own great power. And you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient. Then you will joyfully give thanks to the Father. According to this passage, here are some things that please God:
Do you think you live a life that pleases God? Which one of these things do you need to work on? Whether you love her or not, you can't deny that Taylor Swift's fans aren't devoted. It occurred to me this week that being a Christian is a bit like being a Swiftie - at least it should be. I recently attended one of Taylor's concerts in Melbourne with my daughters. We spent the better part of a day on the ticketing website securing tickets, booked flights and accommodation, made friendship bracelets, planned our outfits, and listened to the set list on repeat. You could call us devoted fans.
We should be even more devoted to God because he created us and sacrificed his Son, Jesus, so that we can live eternally with him. Are you devoted to God? Do you love him? Spend time reading his Word? Talk to him in prayer? Meet together with other Christians? Spend time serving him? Lean on his strength and understanding? Acts 2:42 says, They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. The word used for devoted here means to continue to do something with intense effort, possibly despite difficulty; to devote yourself to something, to persist. (Paraphrase of HELPS Word Studies). Ephesians 5:8 says, In the past you were full of darkness, but now you are full of light in the Lord. So live like children who belong to the light. Paul didn't say we were in the darkness, he said the darkness was in us. When you decide to follow Jesus, you are filled with his light. That doesn't mean that you never sin, but we should become more and more like Jesus as we mature in our faith.
Are you full of darkness or light? Darkness = envy, greed, jealousy, gossip, hatred, violence, drunkeness, sexual immorality, idolatry, arguments, anger,complaining, bitterness, selfishness, foul language, blasphemy... Light = love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, humility, forgiveness, gratitude, faithfulness, generosity, honesty... Ephesians 5:5 is a sobering warning to those who are immoral, impure, greedy or idol worshippers. You might not think that you worship idols, but an idol can be anything that takes up more time and attention than Jesus (apart from your work or studies). Another definition of an idol is ANYTHING that takes the place of God in our hearts and draws our attention away from Him. For example, money, possessions, reputation, celebrities, success, social media presence, TikTok, Instagram, fitness, etc. It's easy to be materialistic when you live in the western world and are constantly bombarded by advertisements telling you that you need the latest... [insert gadget, fashion, trend here]. Society tells us that we can't be happy until we have these things, but in reality any happiness gained from getting what you want is short lived.
Here are some other Bible verses about idolatry: Jonah 2:8 Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them. Exodus 20:3-5 Do not worship any god except me. Do not make idols that look like anything in the sky or on earth or in the ocean under the earth. Don't bow down and worship idols. I am the Lord your God, and I demand all your love. Matthew 6:24 You cannot serve two masters at the same time. You will hate one and love the other, or you will be loyal to one and not care about the other. You cannot serve God and Money at the same time. Are you greedy? Are there things that you want more than God? Next time you find yourself desperately wanting something, remember you just need Jesus. |
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