I was listing to a podcast by Steven Furtick with his sons about dating and something he said really made me think. He said, "The way that we do dating in America doesn’t prepare us for marriage. It prepares us for divorce. You try, you don’t like it, you move on. You try, you don’t like it, you move on." I have to say that I agree with him. We've grown up in the Disney age, where everyone gets their handsome prince and their happily ever after. But real life isn't like that. Sometimes relationships are hard and require work. It's impossible for any relationship between two imperfect people to be perfect.
It made me think of an article I read in the paper about a month ago by Brittany Bown who suggested that we should be ok with a good enough partner rather than always expecting our partner to be perfect. She said that we need to acknowledge that 'we can all be kind of intolerable at times.' We shouldn't date with the aim of finding the perfect person, because they don't exist. Rather, We should aim to find someone who shares our faith, core beliefs and values. Someone who is respectful to us and our family. Someone we enjoy spending time with and who we are prepared to work through the hard stuff with. Source: https://youtu.be/LDrEMxmfzc8?si=uAtiOQIosTJV_OHL Sunday Times Magazine, 17/03/2024 p25.
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A great conversation about sex and shame - thanks Switch Youth. The girls from Girl Defined tackle the tricky topic of pornography in this video. Fervr are offering a free e-book called A Christian teen's guide to dating and sex. It is a very quick read and offers Biblical advice on the topic. I highly recommend it. And it's free! You can download it at https://fervr.net.
Sex is like superglue - it joins you to someone else body and soul (metaphorically, not literally). God intended this to be a lifelong union, not a casual fling. Genesis describes a man and woman becoming one flesh when they are married. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Paul explained that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Sex is not a sin - God designed it. But when sex happens outside of marriage it is a sin that affects the body, soul and spirit. Many of you have experienced the heartache of a broken relationship. It's painful even when you have not had sex. When a relationships that involves sex ends it is even more painful because you have been joined to that person in a more profound way. It's like tearing apart two people that have been superglued together!
When I was a teenager I was boy crazy - I mean I was obsessed. I always had a crush - someone that I would dream about day and night. I'd imagine going on dates and hanging out with them and holding hands and kissing (it was PG rated). My reality could not have been further from my fantasies. I was always the girl that boys wanted to hang out with, but not date and I was friend-zoned every time I was fond of a boy.
You might think that all this boy craziness was pretty harmless but in hindsight it was a waste of time and energy. I could have invested that time reading, studying and memorising the Bible, praying, helping people, being a better friend... I could have been doing a thousand other things that were better than pining after a guy. The Bible doesn't say that daydreaming about boys is a sin but consider the following verses: Romans 8:5 Those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Boys are definitely one of the things on earth. When I was a teenager I wish I had focused on being me and having fun and not worrying about trying to impress my latest crush. There was plenty of time for boys in my twenties - I wish I had been content just being friends. This video is suitable for late teens and young adults or anyone who thinks they're ready to have sex. |
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